November 8, 2005

Dispelling the Darkness

Candlelight vigil in Campbell honors victims of domestic violence

By Jennifer Robertson
Staff Writer

Have you ever had a secret that was so horrible you didn’t dare tell anyone for years, causing you to lie to your friends, family and even your own children? If you are a victim of domestic violence, the answer is probably yes.

Vigil attendees huddled under a cold, overcast sky in front of Campbell’s City Hall.

Assemblymember Rebecca Cohn recently invited the public to a vigil in honor of October being named Domestic Violence Awareness Month and to “shed some light on this terrible problem in our community.”

As people huddled under a cold, overcast sky in front of Campbell’s City Hall, they listened to chilling stories and statistics related to domestic violence. Perhaps the most shocking statistic was that the Campbell Police Department had the highest volume of domestic-violence related calls per person in Santa Clara County in 2001.

“What it means is that we’re very much concerned about domestic violence and we report everything to the D.A.’s office,” explained David Gallo, Campbell chief of police. Even if the victim doesn’t want to press charges, the number is still reported. “The numbers are indicative of our efforts to be vigilant regarding family and domestic violence,” he said.

Reporting incidents of domestic violence is one of the steps the community can take to fight this problem. This form of violence “takes down people in our community who are the most vulnerable,” said Rolanda Dixon, head of the District Attorney’s Domestic Violence Unit. Dixon pointed out that there are 107 new cases of domestic violence in Santa Clara County every week. “But, this is not a bad sign,” according to Dixon. “This is good because it means people are reporting it.”

Steve Preminger, spokesperson for Warriors for Peace, urged men to take an active role in domestic violence prevention as well. His group performs outreach to men at organizations, schools, locker rooms and union halls to educate them about domestic violence. “It’s not just a women’s issue. It’s everyone’s issue,” he said.

While the purpose of the vigil was to remember the victims of domestic violence, it also celebrated its survivors as well.

Assemblywoman Cohn was 15 years old when she finally mustered the courage to confide in a trusted teacher that throughout her childhood, she had witnessed her mother being physically abused by her father.

Like many women, her mother had no resources and nowhere to go. Years ago, domestic violence was not a term people even used, Cohn explained. Abusers “command, control and isolate” the victim. Victims “feel they are protecting their children by keeping the home together, but children know what’s going on.”

The light of the candle “symbolizes the power of the people to eradicate domestic violence in Santa Clara County,” said Assemblymember Rebecca Cohn. “Domestic violence is not a private matter. It is a community matter.”

Annie Martinez, domestic violence survivor and advocate for Support Network for Battered Women, had three miscarriages because of beatings by her ex-husband, and moved 17 times to escape the abuse. She lied about her injuries to friends and family by pretending they were sports injuries. In order to “protect” her children, she tried to convince them their father was a good, loving man in spite of the fact they grew up hearing their father repeatedly threaten to kill their mother.

Martinez says that immigrant women are particularly affected because their husbands threaten them with losing their children and being deported if they report anything to the police. These women often have no support network or family to turn to, and they don’t understand the law or know about the help available to them.

In addition to reporting incidents of domestic violence, Martinez feels one of the most important things one can do for victims is to be a good friend. She suggests that people help the victim get in touch with a shelter or a support group, urge her to go to the doctor for an examination, and make sure she has an escape plan in the event that an incident occurs.

“So much damage is done long before they hit you,” explained Martinez, who is now happily re-married. “I’m sorry to say my story is not unique or unusual.”

For more information, contact the Support Network for Battered Women at (408) 541-6100 or call the 24-hour help line, which is available to English and Spanish speakers at (1-800) 572-2782 or visit the Web site at www.snbw.org.